Hallucinations vs. Delusions

When I had my first "nervous breakdown" everyone kept asking me if I was hearing or seeing things that weren't there. I always told them that I didn't see or hear anything that wasn't really there, I was just interpreting things differently. (In fact, during my first episodes, I would keep my eyes closed most of the time I guess because I liked the view inside my head better. My imagination was much better than reality to me.) The doctors and nurses didn't seem to be able to comprehend what I was saying and kept insisting that I was having "hallucinations." I guess I didn't fit into their little diagnosis box at the time. So I just let them believe what they wanted to believe but never told them anything otherwise. After all, they were doctors, they must know what they were talking about, right? Who was I to question them?

Then years later I finally did hear a "voice." It was a scary, buzzing voice that seemed to be whispering in my ear even though no human being was doing it. Being raised in Christianity I of course thought it was the devil and that I must be "special" or something to be able to hear things from the "Spirit world". If that was true though, why did the voice go away when I took my psych meds? And did my mind create the voice because of being asked so often, "Do you hear voices?" Everyone thought I did anyway, so was my mind just making their assumptions come true? Who knows?

And after being diagnosed as Schizophrenic for so long even though I had never "seen things" did my mind manufacture visual hallucinations for me years later for the first time so that what the doctors were saying and what I was experiencing would line up? (What an accomodating mind I must have!) Was it simply the "power of suggestion"?

When I was re-diagnosed as Bi-polar after the doctors had been thinking I was Schizophrenic for 10 years, my first thought, being as religious as I was, was that I must have been healed or cured to a certain degree. It seemed to me that being Bi-polar was a step up from being Schizophrenic. Sometimes it seems that I have some of the symptoms of both illnesses. However, the medication they give me now and the explanations of how Bi-polar Disorder works has helped me more in managing my daily life than the medications they had given me when they thought I was Schizophrenic.

I just recently came across some information that helps me to see that there are differences between what they call Hallucinations and what they call Delusions. Perhaps this information will help my readers who deal with these things to better communicate to their doctors what is really going on inside of them. The link is included below.

Perhaps I will write an article that discovers the differences and similarities between Schizophrenia and Bi-polar Disorder and some helps for making a tentative self-diagnosis or at least a more informed way of describing your (or your loved one's) symptoms to a doctor.

Knowledge is power and when it comes to your health, I always encourage one to know as much as they can about their illnesses and how to manage them. Some hospitals believe the same thing. In fact, doctors know a whole lot more about mental illness nowadays than they used to and the medications have improved greatly with lesser side effects as in the past. Better communication with my doctors and family has proved to be very useful all the way around for all those involved. I have found some books that have, for once in my life, indeed helped me in that area. I have provided some links to those below also. Happy hunting! (Of knowledge and empowerment that is!)

:-)

 HALLUCINATIONS

“Hallucinations are false perceptions, inaccuracies that affect our senses & cause us to hear, see, taste, touch or smell what others do not. In the acute phases of schizophrenia, patients are likely to insist they are hearing voices that no one else can hear. Sometimes they hear noises, clicks or non-word sounds. On occasion they are disturbed by seeing, smelling or feeling things that others do not.” - Merrell Dow

Note:

I did experience smelling something that no one else around me could smell. The only way I could describe it was as a “holy smell” and spiritual in nature. I thought perhaps I was just having a heightened sense of smell and that I was only smelling things that were actually physically present, such as the fragrance of a certain kind of lotion or perhaps it was a certain kind of musky perfume someone was wearing. Whatever the source, it was such a wonderful fragrance to me that I didn’t want to live without it. I felt like it was the fragrance of the very presence of God or his Holy Spirit every time I experienced it. The first time I smelled it, it reminded me of death and funerals and I thought I was dying. Then later I became a Born-Again Christian and every time I smelled it thereafter, it smelled like life to me. A fragrance I couldn’t get enough of! I told a very close friend about it who told his minister about it and of course the minister looked at me like I was crazy! But then the most wonderful thing happened to me. I found a verse in the Bible that described exactly what I had been experiencing! 2 Corinthians 2:14-16 (New International Version) states that, “...But thanks be to God, who made us [Paul and others in his ministry] his captives and leads us along in Christ’s triumphal procession. Now wherever we go he uses us to tell others about the Lord and to spread the Good News like a sweet perfume. Our lives are a fragrance presented by Christ to God. But this fragrance is perceived differently by those being saved and by those perishing [spiritually]. To those who are perishing we are a fearful smell of death and doom. But to those who are being saved we are a life giving perfume ....” This was very comforting to me even though I still can’t explain it and still find myself wondering. Mental Illness being the cause or Spiritual truth? I am still eagerly seeking all the answers to this.

DELUSIONS

"Delusions are false beliefs or misinterpretations of events & their significance. For instance, a person may get accidentally bumped in the subway & may conclude that this is a Government plot to harass him. He may be awakened by noise from his neighbors apartment & may decide this is a deliberate attempt to interrupt his sleep. Everyone tends to personalize & misinterpret events, especially during times of stress or fatigue. What is characteristic of the schizophrenic however, especially during an acute period, is that the conviction is fixed & alternate explanations for the events experienced are not even considered. Usually attempts at reasoning or discussion about possible other meanings of the bumping or the noise in the night can only lead to the further conviction that the reasoner must be in on the plot, too. Arguing with a delusion only leads to further mistrust or anger. The beliefs are tenaciously held, against all reason, & they are characteristically not shared beliefs. They are held only by the person himself & by no one else. Families & friends must first realize that delusions are a result of illness & not stubbornness or stupidity. Although fixed delusions can be irritating, emotional reactions should be avoided, as should taunts or threats. There is almost always something about the delusional belief that can be empathized with. For instance: "Getting bumped in subways is very annoying. It must make you feel as if no on cares, no one pays attention, that you're not important enough to get an apology or an 'excuse me'." (Presumably the belief that one is at the center of a government plot must derive, at least in part, from the fear that one is really very unimportant or worthless.) Or: "Getting awakened at night is terrible. It's so hard to get back to sleep later. It saps you of all your strength. If you feel your neighbor is not your friend, it is important to be strong & healthy." (This kind of reasoning may persuade a person to seek medical attention &/or an increase in his medicine in order to be strong & fend off annoyances by others. It works better than saying, "You're deluded, you had better see the psychiatrist." Another approach is to help cut down the stimuli that lead to delusion formation. If crowded subways bring on experiences that lead to persecutory ideas, avoid them. An emergence of delusional ideas, whether persecutory or grandiose (thinking one is special) usually means there is too much activity or emotion, perhaps too many people around. Example: "I think I am Jesus." Unhelpful response: "That's totally irrational. You're crazy." Helpful Response: "I guess you feel really special & different today. Maybe it's all the excitement around here. Let's try a very low key routine for the next few days." - Merrell Dow

 

Note:

The Communications Course from L. Ron Hubbard has been very helpful to me in dealing with fellow mental health patients and myself. It teaches the importance of listening and acknowledging what the other is saying without giving up who you are or offending the other. It leads to much better understanding and relating to our fellow human beings. And helps us to be better understood by others. It also teaches being aware of your surroundings, having good eye contact, respecting others' viewpoints and sharing reality with others. It makes the real world not so undesirable or unsurmountable of a foe! :-) I highly recommend it.

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AND SO TO SUMMARIZE:

HALLUCINATIONS ARE FALSE PERCEPTIONS, INACCURACIES THAT AFFECT OUR SENSES, while

DELUSIONS ARE FALSE BELIEFS OR MISINTERPRETATIONS OF EVENTS & THEIR SIGNIFICANCE.

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